The worth of hardwork

Listening to: 911 - New Groove Generation
via FoxyTunes

----------------

It's almost 2 a.m. and I've just finished part of the work I brought back home to do during the long weekend. But that's less than half of what I wanted to accomplish during the holidays. Just as I'm about to finish, I wonder if doing this is worth it. Is it worth it to be absorbed in my work and ignore everything else? Is it worth it to try to be so hardworking to the point that my loved ones are disappointed (and sometimes angry) at me? And most of the time, it doesn't look like anyone's gonna appreciate it. Like Andrew told us, "Why want to be so hardworking? Got employee of the year award meh?" True, there's no award nor consolation for working so hard. But considering that there's so much to do, even without ad-hoc tasks popping up, I don't see how it's possible to finish anything. And it doesn't help that my computer & I are both slow. Until I manage to clear the mess on my table, I cannot stop doing whatever I am doing now, although I won't be able to bring that accomplishment to the grave.

On the other hand, I also wonder why some people tend to want a job so badly and when they do get a not-that-bad one, they go all out to show their dissatisfaction. Is it in the nature of people to always want more than what they already have?

End of the year blues

Listening to: Gary Farr - You Are Too Beautiful
via SKY.fm (Solo Piano)

----------------

Just a few days ago, Jessica, my colleague was talking to me about how fast the year is coming to an end, i.e. we were getting older. Some of us fear the ageing process. In her case it was because she's afraid her relatives will start badgering her about when she'll tie the knot. I remember my cousin going through that (even when she didn't have a better half back then). The pressure by relatives when one reaches the marrying age.

In my case, I don't have that fear. I mean, I do fear getting older, but for some other reason. I don't think it necessary to be married. I'm fine with being a spinster (or some people like to say old maid). I get to do what I want without having to worry about another person or that person worrying about me.

Anyways, my fear of getting older is that I can't live up to the standards set for the people at that particular age. Allow me to elaborate. As a kid, in kindergarten, we are excused for doing most things, because we are too young to know the difference of right and wrong, and this is the time when we learn new things. Moving on to the schooling age (primary / secondary), we know most of the rights and wrongs but we are considered not matured enough to do certain stuff. Fair enough. Then comes the age between being a teen and an adult. Although considered matured, we can still act crazy. Then comes the age of late twenties and thirties. We'll probably be considered to have known much more than most of the young'uns, the age where we'll have to teach more than be taught, the age where we must be able to make decisions. Then comes the forties and above. The age where we're considered to have gone through all the "asam garam kehidupan".

For me, I'll probably be stuck having the mentality of the-age-between-being-a-teen-and-an-adult. I may grow older by the year but I can never grow up. That's what worries me.

This also reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip I read recently:

Mush

Listening to: George Winston - Hummingbird
via FoxyTunes

----------------

With December having 4 public holidays, my brain has been nothing but mush. But there's still so much to do before the year ends. Doubt that I can get much done.

Have been thinking nonsensical thoughts, such as:

"If I miss the third shuttlecock with my rubber chicken, does Buford have to jump over the chokecherry bush before or after the girls finish peeling their tangerines?"
Disney Channel - Phineas and Ferb (Ep: Got Game) [it took me about 10 times after watching the advertisement to finally get it]

It's fun thinking about things like that. Makes life less boring.

Bad dream

Listening to: 동방신기 TVXQ - 주 문-MIROTIC
via FoxyTunes

----------------

Felt really tired today, no thanks to a very bad dream. I wouldn't call it a nightmare because it wasn't. It was just a super bad dream.

I know how some, no make that many, people say that the best time of their lives were spent in school. Well, I guess it wouldn't be that nice if they had to enroll themselves back into school long after leaving it. That's what my dream was about.

I dreamt that I enrolled myself back into secondary school, to be more specific, Form 5. It's not that I hated school but it soon dawned upon me that I was stuck in school for another full year finally finishing it by sitting for SPM, again! :o

I guess this is all due to stress. As much as I like my current job, it is pretty stressful because:

1. I have made so many mistakes, all of which I am aware of;
2. I feel bad for stressing out my superior with all my mistakes;
3. I'm doing tasks that are meant to be shared among two people; and
4. I'm not spending enough time with my family.

I'm seriously looking forward towards retirement, which will only happen in 30+ years time. *sigh* Long way to go.

As much as I'd like to

I don't spend enough time with my family, as much as I'd like to.
I hardly get enough sleep during weekdays, as much as I'd like to.
I don't mingle around enough with people, as much as I'd like to - so say my bosses.
I hardly keep in touch with my friends, as much as I'd like to.
I can't remember things very well, as much as I'd like to.
I don't go out very much, as much as I'd like to.

Life seems too short. Time passes too fast.

Future regret?

The company I work for will be holding a company trip at the beginning of 2009. It'll be on board a cruise. The company has decided to give all those going for the trip a one day paid leave for that purpose. Sounds nice, eh?

As I'll (hopefully) be a confirmed staff under one year of service at the time of the trip, there are certain terms to adhere to such as having to sign a bond of one year (the whole of 2009) and having to pay RM600.00 should I leave the company anytime during 2009.

I, however, have decided not to go for a few reasons:

1. I am ANTI-SOCIAL [This should be a known fact to the people who know me well];
2. I prefer to spend time with my family during the start of a new year;
3. I want my freedom, WITHOUT a price tag on it; and
4. I'd rather work the one day than spend time with people I hardly know. [Yes, I'm super anti-social at the office]

The HR manager asked me why I wasn't going, and I told a lie. :p *snigger*

Will I live to regret my decision on this? Nah, I don't think so.

Relieved

Finally! I'm done with ACCA exams! Results were released today. Was happy to have finally passed P2. Third time lucky. :D

Well, there's still the 3 years experience to gain in order to obtain full membership.

Am looking forward to days when I don't have to study anymore, at least not for exams. But there's still the thought of taking up actuarial science. Or should I just brush that thought away? Accounts, after all, isn't really my thing.

Brain folded

Had the weirdest moment just now. While I turned my neck just now, I felt my brain fold, as in terlipat. There was a numbing sensation for a while but I don't think I sprained it or did any damage to it. Wonder why...

Here's a thought

When one takes an MC it usually means that they are too sick to go to work or school. But what if some companies decide one day that if those who were on MC are able to provide a medical cert from a doctor, it would mean that they were healthy enough to go to the doctor and that would mean they weren't seriously ill in anyway? There'd be no use for MC anymore. Just a thought. :p

Mozzarella Fox

Now playing: 마리오&네스티 - Never Say Goodbye
via FoxyTunes

----------------

The computer illiterate (or partially literate) community cannot be blamed for not knowing the correct names of computer applications, or any computer related terms for that matter, so says my brother. An example, this morning mum was telling my brother and me about our new neighbour finally getting an Internet connection (since she's a foreigner, it's not that easy to get one). So my mum, being partially computer literate, told her to get the Internet browser we're using, which is Mozilla Firefox. Somehow, the browser name came out as Mozzarella Fox. Boy, that was funny. :p

Difficult

Now playing: Jeffrey Michael - Pachelbel Canon Variations
via FoxyTunes

----------------

What can one do when somebody close often makes life extremely difficult for that person? For example, if that person was to do something, that "close someone" would get angry. If the opposite was done, the "close someone" would be pulling their hair out as well. What's to be done? How is it possible to carry on living in such a situation?

3 months

So, what's life been like for the past 3 months? Well, for starters, I got a job (14 February 2008) and quit it after a month and a half (31 March 2008). Then, I received my ACCA results just 5 days after starting my first "permanent" job only to find out that I failed yet again. Thus (one of) the reason(s) for quitting. :p

Recently the weather's been so hot that even people's temperatures are on the rise. People seem much more hot-headed than ever. Could it be the menopause (for some)? Could it be the stress at work? Or is it just purely because of the weather? If so, perhaps a little rain would help out now, please.

1st year anniversary - Uno

Time sure has flied by. Uno (or he-who-responds-more-to-the-name "Doogie") has been in our family for a year already. He has grown from a skinny and, I quote my sister, "ugly-looking" dog with a slight skin disease, who entered our lives on 27th January 2007, to the heavy, fluffy, lazy and mischievous Doogie he is today. I can assure you he is much loved and manja-ed by us at home, though he can get tricked easily when someone says, "Who has come back?" Heh heh. He has moved from sleeping in the behind kitchen, where he whined non-stop from 4 a.m., to sleeping in my room and on my bed - the opportunity he got when my Mum was out of town (thanks Dad). But of course there are the occasional scoldings when he gets too naughty - don't be fooled by the adorable look. His toys include, used plastic bottles (even my Rubbermaid drinking bottle was not spared), the inside of kitchen-towel-rolls and anything that he hears dropping onto the floor.

A comparison:

27th January 2007



27th January 2008



Pictures throughout the year:

Nursery Rhymes & Grimm's Tales

Now playing: George Winston - Reflection
via FoxyTunes

----------------

Just the other day, my brother and I were trying to recall nursery rhymes that we learnt when we were in kindergarten. Listening to some of them were really funny, probably because we never gave much thought of what the words meant when we were younger. This particular one cracked my brother up:

Three Blind Mice

Three blind mice, three blind mice,
See how they run, see how they run!
They all ran after the farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife.
Did ever you see such a thing in your life,
As three blind mice?

My brother was actually trying to recall another one on a mouse but he started with three blind mice and I continued it because he couldn't remember the verses. The one he had in mind was:

Hickory Dickory Dock

Hickory, dickory, dock,
The mouse ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The mouse ran down,
Hickory, dickory, dock.

That was fun, trying to recall nursery rhymes.

Nursery rhymes also remind me of this television series my siblings and I used to watch when we were really young. I know it's based on the Grimm's tales but cannot recall the name of the programme. I remmeber watching Rapunzel, Hansel & Gretel, and Jack and the Beanstalk. The narrator/host was a lady, whose name I do not know. I wish to watch it again (my brother says I'm experiencing my second childhood) but couldn't find it anywhere. Anybody knows the name of the programme, and where I can find it?

I give up!

Now playing: 이필호 - 또 다른 나 (Inst.)
via FoxyTunes

----------------

I have given up hope on communicating with all of mankind!

Things on my mind

Now playing: Turbo - Goodbye Yesterday
via FoxyTunes

----------------

Waking up late is bad but I still do it.

The good ol' school days and the friends I've made (some of whom I might have forgotten/might have forgotten who I am).

There are many nights with clouds in the sky. Too little stars to see.

Why call a person for an interview when the recruiter clearly knows that the nature of the job is one which requires experience and that the interviewee is a fresh graduate? Why keep telling the interviewee throughout the interview that they lack experience? Duh! I'm sure the interviewee would know that.

Why do some family members have no trust in each other?

I feel sad for each new life that comes into this world.

Why do many people not practice what they preach?

Why did we have Moral Education as a paper in SPM? To test our memory?

Too much (not many) rubbish scattered everywhere.

Why is everybody so angry these days?

Procrastinate, procrastinate, procrastinate...

No fun

Now that exams are done, I should have some fun, no? I guess not. It's only been 2 days after exams and people are already asking me, "What are you doing now? Working ah?" My mum has already been pestering me to prepare my resume. Okay, so I've done that but looking for the right job opportunity is not easy. I know, being a fresh grad, I shouldn't be too picky (as we are always told during career talks) but how is that possible when most employers are situated at places which are beyond my reach or have requirements which I cannot fulfil (e.g. Chinese language)? Now comes the thought of working as a labourer again.

To be honest, I really envy the retired community. I look at my parents, aunties and uncles who are already retired and I believe that this is the best part of life. No need to worry about work, able to do anything they want anytime of the day (especially if their children are already out of school) - such fun! I am 22 and I am already thinking about retirement age. This is bad~

WWW

Now playing: 조승우 - Wig In A Box
via FoxyTunes

----------------

WWW = World Wide Wait, no thanks to Streamyx. It is especially so now because the school holidays have started. It's difficult to load a page without it failing to/taking about the same time as a dial-up. It's frustrating. I pity the students who need to do research online. Imagine, they'd have to stay up because of the "narrowband" and this could contribute to not having enough sleep. So parents, you can't blame your uni-/college-going children for the lack of sleep they're getting. I'm not saying it applies to all, though. I'd like to see how much better Wimax would be compared to the "narrowband" offered by Streamyx.

Rewards

Now playing: 브라운아이드걸스 Brown Eyed Girls - Loving You
via FoxyTunes

----------------

Regarding my last post about me rather being a labourer, I was thinking about the intrinsic rewards rather than extrinsic rewards. Although the pay is quite low, I'll get the satisfaction of not having to use much brain power. Sitting in office/Doing office work is not something I find enjoyable. But yeah, Kat, I don't think the pay is enough to cover my living expenses. Oh well, I may give it a try when I think I've earned enough through my partial ACCA qualification.

Brains vs Hands

I just told my dad that I wanted to be a construction worker. His reply, "What for?!" Sigh. So much for trying. To be honest, I'd prefer getting a job which requires me to use more of my physical aspects than my brains. I don't quite like the idea of sitting in the office for almost half a day. As much as I like maths, my future job doesn't (SPM's Principles of Accounts...misleading it is). I'd rather paint a building, do farming, cut wires, or perhaps cook/bake. The only reason I'm trying to complete this ACCA thingamabob is so that I won't be wasting my parents' effort, time and money. This is not what life is meant to be though. Life can never be satisfying, even to the most fortunate. Argh!